“No one on the corner got a bop like this//Can’t wear skinny jeans cuz my knots don’t fit" --Jay-Z "Swagger Like Us"
I’m sorry, but damn I think Jay has done it again. I think Jay may have denounced another fad associated with the hip-hop culture. Jay’s pompous harangue on “Swagger Like Us” may have been the final blow to the skinny jeans epidemic. Before Jay faded to black in 2003, he issued a state of wardrobe emergency on his swan song, “What More Can I Say?” With two lines, the fashion revolutionist hushed the advocates of throwbacks by urging everyone to dispose any remaining jerseys within their possession into their nearest garbage can. “I can’t wear jerseys I’m 30-plus//give me a fresh pair of jeans and some button ups.” Sadly David Stern witnessed the sales of jerseys plummet, as everyone quickly traded in their jerseys for slacks. Five years later, a disgruntled Jay-Z had to ring the alarm again on these rookies. It’s sad but its true--skinny jeans has become an epidemic in the hip-hop community.
With a myriad of people advertising skin tight jeans resembling girl models from the Gap, it’s hard to distinguish whether dudes are modeling their girlfriend’s jeans to simply emulate Dipset’s capo Jim Jones, or if the thought of suffocating their scrotum brings them a significant amount of bliss? Everybody wanted to place the dunce cap on Kanye because he was flossing some tight jeans. Before everyone considered him metro sexual. Others expressed their displeasure for his taste by labeling him gay. Now, everyone wants to trade in their hoodies, and Girbaud Jeans, for a pair of H&M jackets, and Guess jeans. Don’t blame your favorite emcee for what you wear. Blame yourself. Blame yourself for walking out the house in your baby sister’s size 4 jeans, and getting chastised by your peers in school. Blame yourself for letting the girl at the bar play you, and label you as “a wanna be”. Blame yourself for having your Uncle contemn your outfits, and label your taste in clothing as asinine at your cousin’s barbecue.
There’s nothing wrong with wearing fitted clothes. You see, that’s where the genius of Jay lies. It’s more than just bars people. The man was trying to drop hints for us. He was trying to educate the people, in that in order to be taken seriously in Corporate America, you need to come correct. Well-fitted clothes bring flare, and enticement not only to the opposite sex, but people in the professional world. You think Jay would have been able to receive his humanitarian award from the United Nations in a jersey, or better yet some jeans from Queen B. The funny thing is about this situation is that the black community used to make fun of white kids who came to school in tight jeans. Now the tables are turned, and you have the punk rock dudes looking at the kids who bumped “Get Rich Or Die Tryin” like “Ok, you’re cool.”
It’s more than just wearing skinny jeans. It’s the fact that people are making an ass out of themselves for going a couple pants sizes down intentionally. Lets’ be real, it’s sure as hell not gaining you bonus points with the ladies. One thing it’s definitely doing though is giving Jay and everyone else another reason to air you cats on blast.
